Age 3 was the earliest encounter with darkness that I remember. I was in school for speech therapy due to my inability to form any coherent words. When we went into the computer lab and they shut off the lights I ran out crying. Up until the age of 10 I couldn't sleep with the light off. I was too afraid of the unknown. I'm sure at one point I believed in the boogey monster although I associated him with the booger monster and I hated boogers. By 17 I was tolerant of the dark. Hanging out past 3AM and waking up 5AM in the morning for school has a way of doing that. Today at 22 I embrace the dark and everything it has to offer.
. "Dont sleep too late. You have an assignment" I heard myself think as I reluctantly sat up on the edge of my bed. I must've wasted about 3 minutes just staring into the space. It almost didn't occur to me that I was in nothing but my boxer briefs. The muscle in my thighs and calves were becoming more defined. Planet fitness was definitely working, but I still have to work on my diet to really get my results. After lollygagging with the news I showered, ate breakfast and then got to work right away. It took some time but I tracked down the target and I planned to make a visit today. The target was the only thing I cared about. In between my bites, or brushing my teeth and even dropping a deuce, my mind was only focused on the target. I took a final look in the mirror before setting out on my mission, although the mission began the moment I woke up. I always envisioned myself to be this way when I daydreamed about this but actually living like this has taken it's toll on me in a sense.
Eyes shut and Ipod on i'm chilling on the train and reflecting back on my mission. I'm more or less at the end of the training wheel stages and it's been one full of secrecy, deceit, creativity, and sometimes luck. The ability to dive in undetected, get the info I need and escape has been a nerve wrecking experience. A part of me felt out of place doing so. I felt like I was doing something wrong. How dare I intrude on people's private affairs and get all up in their business, but this is the career I wanted. The career I pushed myself through John Jay for. Perhaps I was disturbed because I was able to do what I need to do with little hesitation to get the info I wanted.
but the life of a Private eye is very private and for the sake of confidentiality I have to be extremely vigilant to uphold those standards so that means living a double life. There's a side of me that I hope my friends and family never have to see throughout the course of my work and it's frustrating that I can't openly discuss my day to them but I already knew this coming into this career. I guess the reality of it was finally hitting me. hehe now that I think about it, at home I barely see my family except for the weekends. When I wake up they're gone and by the time I get home they're asleep.
"You were this way a few years ago Thomas. Get it together kid you got shit to do" I reminded myself as my train reached it's destination. From here on out it was time for me to get into character. I was no longer Thomas. I was whoever I needed to be. My gaze focused on everything and yet on nothing at the same time as I reached my targets address. I felt a few drops of rain and felt relieved. Rain = less people which makes my job a lot easier-at the cost of getting wet of course.. The destination was a pretty gated community, very surprising considering this was a rent subsidized area. After the 2nd walkthrough I noticed maintenance guys approaching an entrance gate. I visited a local deli and purchased a drink to compensate circling the block and then casually walked into the area. I spent some time circling the area and casually taking pics although it looked like I was just playing or surfing the web with it. I looked around and found the building I needed and got through the front door without buzzing the intercom. Now the hardest part was finally over.
I made a mental note of the escape routes and possible reentry points I can used if I ever needed and focused once again on the target. According my research, this person has been gaming the system for a few years now which in a way is fucking all of us up in the long run. I'm just here to get to the bottom of this. With a quick tap I turned on my tape recorder and gave my title, time, location and purpose and then proceeded towards my target. Regardless of whatever I felt prior to this at the very moment the only thing I hear in my mind is G A M E O N ! ! ! ! ! ! !